For The Love Of Fairytales

Have you ever found yourself battling the fairy tale world of happy endings that you put all your eggs in the basket of as a little girl?  Sometimes it's "I want to kill all make believe pretenses of humans that are heroes "... And, "I have finally decided that no man can actually be Prince Charming without having some version of a frog or an ogre in there somewhere"...and, "the only reason fairy tales exist is to show us our hearts desires that only God can fill"...
But then, there are those moments when everything gets shaken up.  The bottom of life nearly falls out, your tiny box of this is how things work explodes, the one you love breaks your heart, or you break his.. And then you are faced with the challenge.  Will you fight for love?
Wait a minute.. Now, I seem  to recall something about a prince slaying a dragon to get to the princess he loves.. Maybe there is a little something to this fairy tale stuff in a not so perfect way and unconventionally being played out..
In a silent hero kind of way. Fighting foes like resentment, rejection, fear, insanity,  shame, self hatred., betrayal..
To fight for love, might mean you silently slay the dragon, heart wrenchingly crying out to the Savior for miraculous intervention, or by having a vulnerably honest conversation..  But, it's still slaying the dragon. AKA,  showing up in a fairy tale in one way or another.
So now it's the every day joe who could maybe be a hero. If he so chooses to except the challenge, he can do something amazing like strike up a fairytale on the corner of 5th and Main. Or, rather we should say, bring heaven to earth.. Cause that my friends is the true thing of this discussion, right? Heaven is for real. It's where all the rainbows live. And if there ever were any unicorns to exist, I'm certain that it would be in heaven.. And it's the land of the Hero, and of hero makers.
So, if you are having a little bit of a fairytale gone haywire.. Don't know what to do with your Prince Charming, let a little love into the picture. And you are likely to see a glimpse here and there if your fairytale and watch heaven invade our earthen soil.

The servant of all

"whoever wants to be great in God's kingdom must. E the servant of all"
Been learning the freedom of true love that comes from serving- from a devoted little first century slave girl.
It nearly seems in this self serving society in which we live that we barely get a trace of a glimpse of what love really is, after following the life of a selfless slave. She is only a ficticious character in a novel, and yet my spirit has glimpsed the very face and power of Jesus as I read how she loved without a thought for herself. Completely trusting God to provide for her every need.
I've been pondering the verse: "if you seek to save your life you will lose it".
Seems that in attempt to become purely righteous that we can be seeking to save ourselves from hellish ways and condemnation. But, if we let go of our lives and completely surrender them to our God, we will overcome by the power of His blood and simply testifying of His purity and strength that is freeing us.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" and as a slave, we need to fear and exalt God as our trusted deliverer. Though we may have tools for freedom and know ways to break agreements with the enemy, our sanctification is still a process of humbly loving our God with all of our beings.. And it is our hearts he wants completely obediently surrendered to Him.

“Don’t be afraid, ” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

-2 Kings 6:16-17 (NIV)

Love Grows!

Love grows! Really big sometimes :) every little smile.. Kind words, heartfelt sharing.. And suddenly one day, you realize your heart has become this majestic mountain of admiration and deep care. It's the kind of mountain that soars way higher than the threat of adversity. Love Mountains are strong and powerful things..

He Is With Me!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

-Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

I will not fear the terror by night or the arrow that flies by day! For I am never alone. My strong safe shepherd is with me and will never leave me alone. 

We all seem to have to appear beautiful and brave. But hats off to those who struggle. Papa sees our hearts, the pain, the tears. And HE is with us! Our mighty king fights for us. 

So thankful I have a strong man to share my struggles with. It's beyond understanding, how he loves me.

How hard is it for a camel to make it through the eye of a needle?They say there is a gate in Jerusalem called "The Eye of the Needle". It's a tiny space you have to completely dismount all the luggage and burdens off your camel so he can get through. Feels like sometimes you just gotta dismantle and shed your burdens so you can walk through the door to follow your leader down the specially chosen path he has for you. What if you like your stuff and don't particularly want to remove it from your possession? ... Ah! It's that time where trusting the one who has your best in mind comes in rather handy. Pretty much your saving grace. You can either wander aimlessly outside the gate or lay it all down and follow him. You gotta love him to decide to follow with nothing :)

Shouting Glory Cries

3 things to boast and glory in.. Our sufferings, our weeknesses, and God's love...

There have been times that God's healing love has so gripped my heart in the midst of my own pain and struggle that I get the priveledge of knowing His pain and suffering. And the unending compassion in his heart for us all. And the honor of loving others with that very love from his brokenness.
And then there are times where my sufferings are ripping out my heart and I am overtaken by the lies amidst the pain. Those sorts of sufferings don't seem to yield the glory worth being revealed kind of crop. It's those times I feel lost. And my sunshine peaking out of the clouds is to glory in my Father's great extravagant love for me. Because when I am week, my father is the strong one who's love battles the enemy right on out of my camp and sets up a glory light of liquid love that is a wall of fire around me. He challenges the lies. Roots them out and shows me the truth... Strengthens my heart so I can be a router of 10 thousands.

So whether my sufferings are pure and you can feel the gold refining, or they are exposing wood, hay, and stubble, my Father is the victorious one who leads us to triumph over the enemy. And is worthy of glory shouts from deep in our spirits.. Our glory shouts are battle cries of victory hope to our fellow soldiers. So let your glory shouts be heard across the battle field! Remind your hard pressed soldiers of the hope we persevere and endure for. The hope that never disappoints. And the love that conquers all!

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
-Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)

Hello Patience! I Didn't Know You Were My Friend!

Suddenly, I find that it is Patience standing as a stumbling block in my pathway. I have stumbled and stumbled and stumbled over this rock time after time.. And here it still sits in the pathway one step in front of me. The stone that is making me stumble. I have tried to get around it countless times. To skip over it. Strike it.. Leap high enough to reach the other side.. But one thing I have not tried until now is to lay on top of it and rest my weary bones. 

Haha! This stone that makes me stumble! I never knew it was my friend! I will embrace the stumble stone.. And rest.

A Memory That Heals

God gave me a gift when I was in Germany. 10 years later, I am realizing it's secret value. 

He had pepper gray hair, a big broad shouldered man who built on to his 400 year old house from scratch with rough hewn timbers. Somehow, I was instantly his favorite. He treated me like a father would his daughter. The special gift was his attentiveness. He noticed me.. In a sweet caring fatherly provider kind of a way. He had a keen eye to notice that I was hungry or might need a drink. Always came to offer me his arm under his umbrella when it rained. It was like he took me under his wing while I was in his company to make sure my hosts were on top of things concerning me. His smile towards me was full of confidence and strength. And when it came time to say goodbye, he kissed me on the forehead! 

It meant so much to me because my hosts were frequently oblivious to some of my basic needs and since they were paying, I didn't feel I could ask for food if they weren't hungry at the moment.

What a treasure! I have discovered God was treating my heart to a wonderful revelation of his ever attentive shepherding heart towards me, a little memory to bask in, mediate on.. And let it teach my heart the truth about my heavenly Father and how He cares for me so attentively.

I had a dream that seemed a mystery to me once.. And I've been pondering it lately.. And I think the revelation has arrived! 

He used that confident shepherd in Germany to speak to my spirit about his father heart towards me! And though my expectations for a husband seem to have been train wrecked, He is holding me high up in His high tower.. I'm sitting on His lap and he is reading to me an alive story of hope in the midst of suffering.

Jesus Thinks I'm Worth It...

Jesus thinks I'm worth it! Worth suffering intense pain, mockery, rejection, beatings, floggings, injustice, nails driven through hands and feet... All for love. For your life and my life, he freely gave his. Even at the risk of our not receiving his sacrifice..
For this I give him my life. I think he's worth it too. Though I thought myself of little worth, I know it can't be true. His life was too precious to throw away for nothing. He honors me with his sacrifice. And I choose honor too. He makes it all worthwhile. This whole life, along with every trial.
Sometimes, it is quite tempting to give up hope and believe the lie that my value is lost. But, simply because the worthy one sacrificed his whole life for me, I cannot belittle his pain and endurance by believing such misunderstandings. His love is enough to make my value as precious as all the gold and ancient treasures in the entire universe combined. Amazing how this man's sacrifice can make the tattered and torn far more valuable than rubies.