Shouting Glory Cries

3 things to boast and glory in.. Our sufferings, our weeknesses, and God's love...

There have been times that God's healing love has so gripped my heart in the midst of my own pain and struggle that I get the priveledge of knowing His pain and suffering. And the unending compassion in his heart for us all. And the honor of loving others with that very love from his brokenness.
And then there are times where my sufferings are ripping out my heart and I am overtaken by the lies amidst the pain. Those sorts of sufferings don't seem to yield the glory worth being revealed kind of crop. It's those times I feel lost. And my sunshine peaking out of the clouds is to glory in my Father's great extravagant love for me. Because when I am week, my father is the strong one who's love battles the enemy right on out of my camp and sets up a glory light of liquid love that is a wall of fire around me. He challenges the lies. Roots them out and shows me the truth... Strengthens my heart so I can be a router of 10 thousands.

So whether my sufferings are pure and you can feel the gold refining, or they are exposing wood, hay, and stubble, my Father is the victorious one who leads us to triumph over the enemy. And is worthy of glory shouts from deep in our spirits.. Our glory shouts are battle cries of victory hope to our fellow soldiers. So let your glory shouts be heard across the battle field! Remind your hard pressed soldiers of the hope we persevere and endure for. The hope that never disappoints. And the love that conquers all!

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
-Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)

Hello Patience! I Didn't Know You Were My Friend!

Suddenly, I find that it is Patience standing as a stumbling block in my pathway. I have stumbled and stumbled and stumbled over this rock time after time.. And here it still sits in the pathway one step in front of me. The stone that is making me stumble. I have tried to get around it countless times. To skip over it. Strike it.. Leap high enough to reach the other side.. But one thing I have not tried until now is to lay on top of it and rest my weary bones. 

Haha! This stone that makes me stumble! I never knew it was my friend! I will embrace the stumble stone.. And rest.

A Memory That Heals

God gave me a gift when I was in Germany. 10 years later, I am realizing it's secret value. 

He had pepper gray hair, a big broad shouldered man who built on to his 400 year old house from scratch with rough hewn timbers. Somehow, I was instantly his favorite. He treated me like a father would his daughter. The special gift was his attentiveness. He noticed me.. In a sweet caring fatherly provider kind of a way. He had a keen eye to notice that I was hungry or might need a drink. Always came to offer me his arm under his umbrella when it rained. It was like he took me under his wing while I was in his company to make sure my hosts were on top of things concerning me. His smile towards me was full of confidence and strength. And when it came time to say goodbye, he kissed me on the forehead! 

It meant so much to me because my hosts were frequently oblivious to some of my basic needs and since they were paying, I didn't feel I could ask for food if they weren't hungry at the moment.

What a treasure! I have discovered God was treating my heart to a wonderful revelation of his ever attentive shepherding heart towards me, a little memory to bask in, mediate on.. And let it teach my heart the truth about my heavenly Father and how He cares for me so attentively.

I had a dream that seemed a mystery to me once.. And I've been pondering it lately.. And I think the revelation has arrived! 

He used that confident shepherd in Germany to speak to my spirit about his father heart towards me! And though my expectations for a husband seem to have been train wrecked, He is holding me high up in His high tower.. I'm sitting on His lap and he is reading to me an alive story of hope in the midst of suffering.

Jesus Thinks I'm Worth It...

Jesus thinks I'm worth it! Worth suffering intense pain, mockery, rejection, beatings, floggings, injustice, nails driven through hands and feet... All for love. For your life and my life, he freely gave his. Even at the risk of our not receiving his sacrifice..
For this I give him my life. I think he's worth it too. Though I thought myself of little worth, I know it can't be true. His life was too precious to throw away for nothing. He honors me with his sacrifice. And I choose honor too. He makes it all worthwhile. This whole life, along with every trial.
Sometimes, it is quite tempting to give up hope and believe the lie that my value is lost. But, simply because the worthy one sacrificed his whole life for me, I cannot belittle his pain and endurance by believing such misunderstandings. His love is enough to make my value as precious as all the gold and ancient treasures in the entire universe combined. Amazing how this man's sacrifice can make the tattered and torn far more valuable than rubies.

Psalm 116 and me

Psalm 116
I love that Adoni heard my voice when I prayed; because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live.

Me: I was so distressed. My heart was broken and lost in abandonment. Lies were swirling around my head and I thought no one was listening. And I cried. Desperately.. And from somewhere came a song that made its way to my lips.. And I began to sing "Jesus loves me, this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Jesus loves me, He who died. Heaven's gates to open wide. His blood washes all my sin. Let His love come pouring in.".. And I couldn't stop. Over and over because there was love washing over me with every word. And then I began to see the truth. Jesus really loves me. He has not abandoned me. His generous lavishing love was telling me so as I sang it.

Psalm 116
The cords of death were all around me, Sh'ol's constrictions held me fast; I was finding only distress and anguish. But I called on the name of Adoni; " please Adoni! Save me!"

Me: and he heard my cry. Over the roaring waterfalls of doubt rejection lies.. He listens so closely. As the deep in my heart was calling out to the deep of God. And though the waterfalls were roaring around me, my spirit began to hear the sound of the deep calling back to me. And I began to give voice to the song in my heart.

Psalm 116
Adoni is merciful and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate. Adoni preserves the thoughtless. When I was brought low, He saved me. My soul, return to your rest! For Adoni has been generous to you. Yes, you have rescued me from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from falling. I will go on walking in the presence of Adoni in the lands of the living.

Me: I didn't see that coming, honestly. I felt too burdened to imagine His peace overtaking me. But, He did. He gently redirected my heart to a place of rest and safety. His truth came in victoriously and His love demolished the liars around me. He rescued me and told me that He loves me! I was getting weary with the sorrow of loss and longing for my tears to end. And He rescued my eyes from tears when He told me that He loved me. As I sang "Jesus loves me this I know.." my heart began to awaken to His love and I knew that He really does love me. Now I can dwell in the living lands.. In His presence where life flows in the joy of His love.

Heaven

So, recently I happened upon this ridiculously informative material about heaven. I devoured the entire book in as fast a moment as possible and now I am left to attempt processing the extraordinary boggling bliss of eternity.
It's entirely fascinating.. Way more than I imagined.. Too exciting.. So very breathtakingly gorgeous.. Senses overload.. My senses are on overload trying to catch up with all the bliss awaiting me..
It seems like God has picked this special time to share these treasures with me.. in this grieving time, I have been so thankful to have such a fairytale land to escape to for comfort.. And this land is my true home!
It makes it easier to let loved ones go when you know you can spend countless precious moments with them in eternity.
I keep wanting to hear more about my heaven home.. But each time I do, I'm instantly overwhelmed with way too much information..
But, at the moment, Im contemplating this simple thing.. It may very well be my favorite find when I reach the glory. And it is.. God's eyes are blue pools of pure love.
After you have peered through the brightness of His sunshine Glory, you can see His face. And there is no frightened piddly mr.Oz. It is gentle liquid love radiating right into you.
And Jesus and the Father look exactly alike. His eyes are blue too.
These may be simple finds.. But after all that be giggling glory extravagance that sounds to be endless in heaven, I can't comprehend it any longer.. And all I really want is to see Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I wasn't sure if we were ever gonna get to see him for all the light. So, I can't wait to look into His face and be at home forever.

a precious old man

Thinking of a precious old man i met... i think it was the look in his eyes of regret and sadness and the pain of years passed, and yet love was there, shining through.. it burst out of him as he endeavored to share his life with me, tickled pink.. thinking of what he could do and say.. he seemed so happy to share his own home cooked meal with me.. like a kid in a candy shop, when he saw that i thought it was tasty. He didnt even eat.. just wanted me to enjoy it all.. and more.. and more.. He just wanted to please me.. give me gifts, show me his family wall of photos.. and tell me about anything that seemed like a remotely interesting topic to me. He could barely hear at all, which made it adorable the way he pronounced his words... He treated me like a princess. He was so happy to have me there that he went rummaging around his spare room to see what he could find to give me.. he walked over to the mantle and found a metal lantern and picked it up and said, "this looks like something you might like to have.".. then he went rummaging more and with a slight hint of glee, he declared that he had found the perfect gift for me.., an old wooden jewelry box that he had found at a yard sale once. Well, that turned out to be a secret treasure because it had a hidden love note in the bottom of the box that a 14 year old girl had written to her future husband.. telling him that she loved him even though she had never met him and she couldnt wait to be with him someday and share their family together.. That totally blew me away!.. It was like something i would have written and probably did..
It was like finding a secret treasure.. I always wanted to find something special inside a jewelry box besides just a ballerina twirling around..
Somehow, he must have been looking for a way into my heart because he found one... i put him in my personal special memory box with some other special older men moments..
When i get to heaven, i would like for him to invite me over and fix me his specialty again. those were the tastiest tacos i have EVER had!
Not exactly sure why it breaks my heart to think about him.. i think it is because he is alone and misunderstood by his family..

Hug healing

It's amazing.. the power of a hug! Jesus shows up in the embrace and releases revelation of his tenderness. And a seed of love and wholeness is planted, watered.. Truth goes into your spirit, soul and body. Ya know, our bodies are important.. we need to include every part of ourselves in the healing process... And a hug is a perfect way to share love: body, soul, and spirit.

Just to Jesus

Jesus, you are my worthy one.. My beautiful love. My smile.. My favorite smile of life.. My deep true one who conquers every lie, wobbly or rooted deep. Your love knocks it over and burns it up at the speed of light... And it's your light in my eyes to love all the hungry ones with. It's all you.. My crown and beauty, light and lovely smile, deep compassion and unending joy. You are my best husband. Thank you for bearing my burdens for me.. And letting me rest my head on your peaceful shoulder. You are my refuge. My strong safe place :)

Lessons from the dance floor

"right step together..back step together, left step together, front step together"... "ok, im going to teach you the fox trott".. "dont look down.. just follow me"...

its amazing the leadership role that a man can play.. and it comes so naturally when he's dancing. i danced with probably 20 different men last night at a swing dance and was so impressed with their leadership skills.. the gentleman in each of them quickly came to life as they led me across the dance floor. i would look at them sometimes like, oh dear, i have never done this dance before, i dont have a clue what im doing.. and they would smile back at me and say, dont worry, just dance to the music, and just follow me. each guy had his own pace and style of moving.. some liked to cha cha cha, while others did the rhumba.. they knew just how to add a little pressure on my shoulder blade when it was time for me to move towards them and push my arm away when it was time for a twirl.. and it was so much fun! all i really had to do was feel the beat, follow and trust. 

i told one of the guys that he was a great dancer and his response was, "well, thats because you are great at following."
its interesting.. when following, you have to apply just a slight bit of pressure so that you can feel his lead.. "its no good if you have spaghetti arms", the instructor said. (a little side note to ponder on in the followings of life..)

it was kind of like being in a fairy tale.. being led around the dance floor so gracefully, blindly trusting, moving to the music and feeling beautiful.. and the twirling.. when was the last time you twirled?!? that is so much fun.. i remember as a little girl, wanting my daddy to spin me around.. i guess that desire to twirl never really goes away.. and its amazing when a man will step up and boldly ask you, "may i have this dance?".. and he leads you around for the twirls you always dreamed of.. taking the time to honor your dreams, celebrate your beauty.. and hold you in the strength of his arms. 

i was so honored and blessed that these men would ask me to dance, knowing that i had never even done it.. taking the time to teach me and totally not get all bothered and annoyed when i got off track... they would just sync back up with me and start again.. it was just perfect.. like a dance.

Be Steadfast! is the message that keeps popping out at me... climbing up hills over the rivers and through the woods... be steadfast.. battling demons and painful emotions... be steadfast! Wishing.. hoping... praying... dreaming... Be steadfast!

For love always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres!

i just might like to say that persevering can be rather painful... especially when you may be completely insane for persevering in the thing you are persevering so painfully through.. But, love takes chances and endures it all.

and if i'm nuts... i will have learned a lesson out of my absurdity that is for sure!

Ya know what's really worth persevering for? It's Jesus. He is the one sooooooo worth pushing through anything this world could antagonize as a battle stance against me.. He really is so worth my devotion to love Him. Even if I cant remember who I am in the midst of the battle.. I can remember who He is.. and that He is so worth it... pushing through.. or even just standing.. steadfast.

Message From The Ones Yet To Be

pic from: lilsugar.com

Ya know how you were born one day, suddenly popping out into this wild new atmosphere of fresh air and loud noises and no more happy water surroundings. And then, peace engulfed you as you were swaddled in your mother's arms. And you slowly began the journey, discovery... your existence. Well, what about your existence prior to your existence on planet earth?
Abba knew us before we were born. Maybe even before our spirits were born in the very forming of our mother's womb... because we are forged in the secret place from the depths of God's heart. "Every day of our lives were written about in His book before one of them came to be". We are deep treasures and expressions of God...Wow! He pondered us, created us, designed us... He knew us before we existed. Just like we were safely formed in our mother's womb, we were safely surrounded by His love as He pondered and created each of our unique designs.
So, what about Abba's special creations that are longing to be birthed and have not been given the chance? What about the unborn? There is a cry that I feel in my spirit..cries of those waiting to be born. Beautiful ones in Father's heart.
Just a reminder to remember the ones yet to be. It is up to us, the father's and mothers of this generation to carefully live our lives so that our children and the children of this world can be released to live the beautiful destinies that are straight from the heart of God.