Jesus Thinks I'm Worth It...

Jesus thinks I'm worth it! Worth suffering intense pain, mockery, rejection, beatings, floggings, injustice, nails driven through hands and feet... All for love. For your life and my life, he freely gave his. Even at the risk of our not receiving his sacrifice..
For this I give him my life. I think he's worth it too. Though I thought myself of little worth, I know it can't be true. His life was too precious to throw away for nothing. He honors me with his sacrifice. And I choose honor too. He makes it all worthwhile. This whole life, along with every trial.
Sometimes, it is quite tempting to give up hope and believe the lie that my value is lost. But, simply because the worthy one sacrificed his whole life for me, I cannot belittle his pain and endurance by believing such misunderstandings. His love is enough to make my value as precious as all the gold and ancient treasures in the entire universe combined. Amazing how this man's sacrifice can make the tattered and torn far more valuable than rubies.

Psalm 116 and me

Psalm 116
I love that Adoni heard my voice when I prayed; because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live.

Me: I was so distressed. My heart was broken and lost in abandonment. Lies were swirling around my head and I thought no one was listening. And I cried. Desperately.. And from somewhere came a song that made its way to my lips.. And I began to sing "Jesus loves me, this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Jesus loves me, He who died. Heaven's gates to open wide. His blood washes all my sin. Let His love come pouring in.".. And I couldn't stop. Over and over because there was love washing over me with every word. And then I began to see the truth. Jesus really loves me. He has not abandoned me. His generous lavishing love was telling me so as I sang it.

Psalm 116
The cords of death were all around me, Sh'ol's constrictions held me fast; I was finding only distress and anguish. But I called on the name of Adoni; " please Adoni! Save me!"

Me: and he heard my cry. Over the roaring waterfalls of doubt rejection lies.. He listens so closely. As the deep in my heart was calling out to the deep of God. And though the waterfalls were roaring around me, my spirit began to hear the sound of the deep calling back to me. And I began to give voice to the song in my heart.

Psalm 116
Adoni is merciful and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate. Adoni preserves the thoughtless. When I was brought low, He saved me. My soul, return to your rest! For Adoni has been generous to you. Yes, you have rescued me from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from falling. I will go on walking in the presence of Adoni in the lands of the living.

Me: I didn't see that coming, honestly. I felt too burdened to imagine His peace overtaking me. But, He did. He gently redirected my heart to a place of rest and safety. His truth came in victoriously and His love demolished the liars around me. He rescued me and told me that He loves me! I was getting weary with the sorrow of loss and longing for my tears to end. And He rescued my eyes from tears when He told me that He loved me. As I sang "Jesus loves me this I know.." my heart began to awaken to His love and I knew that He really does love me. Now I can dwell in the living lands.. In His presence where life flows in the joy of His love.

Heaven

So, recently I happened upon this ridiculously informative material about heaven. I devoured the entire book in as fast a moment as possible and now I am left to attempt processing the extraordinary boggling bliss of eternity.
It's entirely fascinating.. Way more than I imagined.. Too exciting.. So very breathtakingly gorgeous.. Senses overload.. My senses are on overload trying to catch up with all the bliss awaiting me..
It seems like God has picked this special time to share these treasures with me.. in this grieving time, I have been so thankful to have such a fairytale land to escape to for comfort.. And this land is my true home!
It makes it easier to let loved ones go when you know you can spend countless precious moments with them in eternity.
I keep wanting to hear more about my heaven home.. But each time I do, I'm instantly overwhelmed with way too much information..
But, at the moment, Im contemplating this simple thing.. It may very well be my favorite find when I reach the glory. And it is.. God's eyes are blue pools of pure love.
After you have peered through the brightness of His sunshine Glory, you can see His face. And there is no frightened piddly mr.Oz. It is gentle liquid love radiating right into you.
And Jesus and the Father look exactly alike. His eyes are blue too.
These may be simple finds.. But after all that be giggling glory extravagance that sounds to be endless in heaven, I can't comprehend it any longer.. And all I really want is to see Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I wasn't sure if we were ever gonna get to see him for all the light. So, I can't wait to look into His face and be at home forever.

a precious old man

Thinking of a precious old man i met... i think it was the look in his eyes of regret and sadness and the pain of years passed, and yet love was there, shining through.. it burst out of him as he endeavored to share his life with me, tickled pink.. thinking of what he could do and say.. he seemed so happy to share his own home cooked meal with me.. like a kid in a candy shop, when he saw that i thought it was tasty. He didnt even eat.. just wanted me to enjoy it all.. and more.. and more.. He just wanted to please me.. give me gifts, show me his family wall of photos.. and tell me about anything that seemed like a remotely interesting topic to me. He could barely hear at all, which made it adorable the way he pronounced his words... He treated me like a princess. He was so happy to have me there that he went rummaging around his spare room to see what he could find to give me.. he walked over to the mantle and found a metal lantern and picked it up and said, "this looks like something you might like to have.".. then he went rummaging more and with a slight hint of glee, he declared that he had found the perfect gift for me.., an old wooden jewelry box that he had found at a yard sale once. Well, that turned out to be a secret treasure because it had a hidden love note in the bottom of the box that a 14 year old girl had written to her future husband.. telling him that she loved him even though she had never met him and she couldnt wait to be with him someday and share their family together.. That totally blew me away!.. It was like something i would have written and probably did..
It was like finding a secret treasure.. I always wanted to find something special inside a jewelry box besides just a ballerina twirling around..
Somehow, he must have been looking for a way into my heart because he found one... i put him in my personal special memory box with some other special older men moments..
When i get to heaven, i would like for him to invite me over and fix me his specialty again. those were the tastiest tacos i have EVER had!
Not exactly sure why it breaks my heart to think about him.. i think it is because he is alone and misunderstood by his family..